The Beginning...

At the hospital with our angel

This is the start of my acceptance. This begins my journey as a first time mother who was blessed with the most precious gift, a daughter born on September 10, 2012. Her name is Norah. I didn't really think about it through the haze when I laid there and heard the nurse say to my husband, "hmm, I've never seen that before. One leg is shorter than the other. She also has a couple fused toes." All I cared about was that she was breathing after I heard them announce the weight at 5 pounds and 13 ounces.  I spent almost 14 weeks on bed rest after my doctor told us we were at risk for preterm labor due to a shortened cervix. Nowhere during that time did we ever think about what we would face later. Surprisingly, I made it to 39 weeks.  The first day was kind of a blur. When the doctors came into our room to explain her condition, we were both in such a fog. They took her away several times for x-rays and ultrasounds. The Orthopedic doctor came in on the second day to explain what we were facing. Fortunately, he was cautious with his words. I think in his mind he saw two very new, terrified parents and figured he'd keep things vague. Thank you for that. By the third day, he diagnosed her with Hip Dysplasia and introduced us to the hip brace. We really weren't diving into the leg condition at this point. I can't explain the hurt of that day. Getting ready to leave to take her home and hours before, they are showing us how to navigate our way through this brace, all the while she is screaming such an agonizing scream. This wasn't the way I dreamt of bringing home my little girl. I quickly felt the pain and annoyance of that brace. I couldnt nurse her the same way, skin to skin was out the window, she wouldn't be wearing any of the adorable clothes friends and family generously gave to us, every diaper change, every cuddle, I would have to stare at this thing and be reminded of what was happening. I was sad and that sadness changed quickly into anger. Nobody was ever going to be able to understand the pain I felt, and honestly they still don't. I felt responsible, incapable, guilty and fearful about the road ahead. Still do almost 5 weeks later. Because of this guilt and my husband urging me to try to start accepting this, I sought out an outlet. This is it. Writing. Crying. Reading other blogs and other stories of families who have gone through this or are about to has helped. So here we go. This is the journey of my baby Norah's physical challenge with her leg and hip. Maybe this will help this hermit crab Mom attempt to come out of her shell and maybe it will help another family down the road.